Category Archives: Things I Typed

What’s up doc?

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I took Frances to the pediatrician for her flu shot. She got a Bugs Bunny band aid but didn’t know who Bugs was, so I showed her some episodes of Looney Toons.

Violence is funny! Now we are eating doughnuts and laughing while Elmer Fudd sticks a gun barrel in Bugs’ mouth.

It’d be cute if next time we go to the pediatrician Frances asks “What’s up doc?” but we better leave the shotgun at home.

After the show

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After the show 3 people who sat in the back called me over.

I complied cause they came to a Filipino restaurant in a strip mall to sit behind a pile of crispy pork with rice and watch comedians for 90 minutes and that deserved some recognition.

There was a son in his 20s wearing a SECURITY jacket, his mother in a wheelchair and another son? If he was he’s not the favorite as he didn’t receive the familial introduction his “brother” got.

The son in the SECURITY jacket has been thinking about trying comedy for a while now which didn’t surprise me – 20% of everyone who attends a comedy show wants to be a comedian or thinks they already are one based on the laughs they elicit at the office.

SECURITY jacket didn’t want to tell a joke but his mother pressed him and like the good son he is, he acquiesced.

The joke was about a grandson asking for a sip of beer and then a hit off a cigar and each time the grandfather asks “does your dick touch your asshole?” and while it adhered to the rule of 3 (the last time it was the grandkid’s turn to ask) it did not have a punchline.

I gave him a muted chuckle (I fake laugh, a character flaw I attained hosting a weekly, 5-hour open mic for years).

The mom said last year when she was dying in the hospital her son told her that joke and she laughed so hard her heart monitor went crazy and the nurses came rushing in ready to defibrillate.

“I almost died!” she laughed.

“I was trying to kill you,” her son joked.

That’s the punchline.